back

Again it's been a few months since I last posted. I realise this makes me an epic fail. Well boys and girls, it's that time of year again. You'll remember I was telling you about the blokey. The one I was going to marry, the one who left me in the hospital to potentially die, the one who lied to me and used me? Well I think he has in fact gone for good. 7 weeks ago he left my house I haven't seen him since, I have barely hea\rd from him. Which is majorly heart killy. He told me he had no time for anyone, yet he's had time to move out of his parents, see his mates and get drunk a lot. The moving out sticks, he told me he wouldn't move out of his mum's, so it turns out it's me that's the issue. I kept tying to get him to move in with me, to no avail. Unfair - Yes I think so.
He reckons he'll come see my tomorrow (my birthday) but I know he won't/ It's bad enough I'll have to spend tomorrow alone, it hurts my face. Very sad face :(
I hate the fact Blokey has done so much damage to me. It hurts muchly. Some days I can't even get out of bed. He doesn't even seem to be very sorry about it. He's living the high life and being all social. He's destroyed my life to make his better. I feel used and I feel betrayed. I still love him.
The worst bit is, he was planning to marry me, and asked me to marry him and not two weeks ago he informs me "we're friends" and "we were only loosely dating"
I would have thought after 7 weeks I'd feel better, turns out no chance.
I wish I could have all this pain taken from me. He's indeed a big JERK!
I also want to move out of Rugby, for this place does me no good.